Welcome To Stella's Space

2011-07-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

I have recently visited Lisbon, near to where I stayed (it was a very nice hotel called the Corinthia) there was a zoo..Now I have mixed minds over zoos, as most people, but this one pleasantly surprised me.

There were lots of cafe shops and eating places and also vending machines to get yourself a cool drink, which believe me they were!

It was also very animal friendly, much thought had been put into the layout for the animals and they had as much room to move about as possible..different environments were also offered to each species..something I believe is important to make their lives as interesting as possible.

Oh the people of Lisbon were so friendly! Not a thing one usually finds in a big city, but they were..I think I shall tell of them later, as I want to write a poem about that.

Anyways this pic of a tiger brought to mind a poem I wrote about two tigers after a vivid dream..google tigers if you want an explanation for I am not going to blush on blogger lolololo.

Two Tigers

That tiger scares me,
I hear his constant breath,
imagine a strength of will
when his smooth pad-fall
passes me by.
I feel his presence,
know he will return,
to taunt, tease
me and the tiger
who walks with me.

I love the one at my side,
worry as he scents
competition,
understands his nemesis,
believes he knows mine.
There are times
I fret for our future
as that tiger
shines colour,
his aura unmistakable,
his pride discernable
in the arch of his neck,
the spark in his eye.
He believes in himself.
He would like me for his own.

My tiger cleanses me
with a rough tongue,
purrs if I stroke
the black tufty tip
of his ear.
He consoles
and comforts me,
curls about my feet
tells me all will be well
yet walks
a deliberate pace.
Waiting.

As day follows night
into the light,
light dawn,
curtains are drawn
through other peoples dreams,
I feel that tiger,
restless,
his want predatory,
unmistakable
in his intention
and I wonder if he too

would curl around my feet.
.

2011-07-12T12:14:00.000-07:00

Has it really been so long since I was on here?...seems so :/ And how time changes things-everything changes..it sneaks up on you without you realising it!
Gosh where to start??? Had my ups and downs too..finished work which is a biggy and I am trying to get used to the feeling of not having to be somewhere each morning! So very much has gone on since 2009 that it feels impossible to go into things lol so I shall pretend that the last post I made here was last week..

Right then a poem methinks :)

Prague
by Stella Jones Sat 4/12/10 (but I shall pretend I wrote this last week lol)

I change into night-time mode.
Lipstick a little heavier, a little darker
to show the still glistening welcome
of my lips.

A rich thick kozel darkness coats,
slips into pores, numbs the coldness inside.
Unaware I am taken and suited to the scene
of wood and cigarettes.
I think that perhaps this is bohemia at its best.

In this place political patter is timed
by a double bass of blonde wood
and I can slide between murmurs,
seep into the past where history sleeps
within purple blue smoke
and echoes gain strength,
stir up a love song.

I watch friends chat in that easy way.
Such easiness tastes of a quiet revolution
led by sad chords, minor chords,
music to cry for.

Conversation and kozel.
And in the backgound?
A velvet glove caresses
as I forget your name.

Just Wondering..

2010-11-14T14:16:00.000-08:00

I find it very strange and a little worrying that I can begin something with such enthusiasm only to find my interest fading like so many vapor trails in the sky..Why is this..Is it that I do not possess the get up and go?..the umph?..that 'thing' which is needed to see something through to the end?..I find myself rather regretful that I am a 'neglector' (spose that isn't a real word, but hey who the hell cares?) Hmmm...what to do...well...In my defence I do try..I have been described as 'different' twice this past week...I rather like that thought and I guess there are many that would neglect and not give a toss...there...feel better now..doesn't take much to make me feel so!

A Poem

wondering

2010-11-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

Strange isn't it how you can start a project and then it trails off into oblivion?

Pass of The Two Stones

2009-08-31T14:26:00.000-07:00

The wind urges the rain, romances her

as I step to the whisper of legends.

The faint foot-fall of ghosts dance to her rhythm,

myths excite a dulled imagination

and there's no clock-tick to where I ought to be.

Through springy moss, boulder verterbrae push,

telegraph complaints of sheep fade to eternal dusk..

On this day, in this place thoughts form to fill the universe.

I am as helpless as the grass bent low in the rain,

as distant as that star I will never touch.

Yet close to those who trod this land so long ago.

I close my eyes, raise my arms

and know I can fly.

Being in Neither One Place or The Other

2009-07-27T08:12:00.000-07:00

well it has been some time since I visited here..I guess I should take more space to block out the noise of the day...a feeling that I would think many have...Work is forever busy...writing is at best spasmodic at worst crap!...ah well this poem I like because of the memories it brings to me...I remember gardens and a flask of too sweet coffee..it was one of those days that it didnt matter what the weather was like...some days just stay with you...

I would prefer
a frayed country lane edged with foxglove,
hollyhock, wild marigold burnt orange
and an old five-barred gate to climb.
Of course it's chained, even in day-dreams

But inside my head,
I'm stranded outside a motorway service station
watching white and yellow lights travel in opposing directions.
I loathe these bricked cubes that smell of frying oil,
lemon scented floor polish with the obligatory scattering
of near-dead motorists driven towards their happiness.

I hold an impression of mayonnaise bleeding
from cardboard bread edges that pretend to be tasty
and wonder what the fuck is going on.
So I work hard, drag thoughts back to soft needles,
muted song within a forests unfathomable beauty.
Even so, I cannot quite shake off that futile feeling
and the pretence of being happy.

blah

2009-05-13T23:53:00.000-07:00

I am putting up blah as the title thing is goosed on here..mind you I can blah with the best..I do wonder why blogger has these weird blips..
I have been suffering cowboy workmen, well one..and that will teach me not to try to get anything sorted on the cheap! The day is young, the sun undecided..I may have to dip under the rainbow today... :o(

Alice rides clouds
rattles rainbows
mixes them to something new,
she walks the moons edge.

Alice is scared,
knows the darker woman
who hides between lines
-in misted spaces,
too many similarities
to lonely nights where nothing
seems the same.
Thoughts splinter,
mock
until..

She dreams up a storm
with the in-rushing tide,
it's cold when she cries.

Alice rests within day-dreams,
behind white picket fences
hears a blue bird sing,
she smiles for the camera.

Hear her count stars
unhook one for luck
cover in white satin
just in case
thoughts
splinter in the night.

gawd

2009-04-18T17:36:00.000-07:00

well seems i have messed up me blogg...mind you i lasted some time and there is summat wrong with the title thingy too...hmmmmm perhaps not such a good idea this trying to shove up poems..we shall see..

Manic Monday :o)

2009-04-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

A new day a new week, sadly full of meetings for me although I do get the chance to sneak out for a quick smoke between them!!...Funny sort of day today, beautiful in the morning time, lousy later on..so the heating goes on and off as often as the sun decides to play games! Hide and go seek methinks..A friend told me that meetings are set up by people who want to feel important, well I am not important and hate bringing people in for a meeting as they always look so worried..I spend a good deal of time reassuring them that all is well...I wonder if it is?..well that is?..hmmmm...I am wandering off on a tangent again so shall shut up! Okay a poem to read if desired. :o)

Dream On

Brilliance brims a new day full
I feel small wishes die,
in first born light the sound of today
is so very loud, enough to puncture
fragile dreams.

Birdsongs fresh flavour brushes skin,
I awaken on a breathy yawn that curls,
folds itself into corners
full of half remembered times.

A child-like stretch
in a grown up world
and for a moment
I am the fairest,
more lovely than imagined.

Absent from reality.

Frantic Friday!!

2009-03-13T13:54:00.000-07:00

Yup it's been a frantic few days..Surely Spring is almost here? I pity poor Spring as many (including myself) pin so much hope on her. Tis the season of renewal and growth..well seeing as I am on a diet I hope the growth bit does not happen!! But the thought of renewal into something better..well thats something to ponder on :o)

Backlog

I've trod on hallowed turf
and am in a no-good mood
stiff with starch, have assessed

referred, reviewed,
re-referred and re-assessed ,
been here forever
on a swivel
turning round and round
and round..

Somewhere, clerics
have filed me away
with muffled groans,
'wish she'd just go away'.

Cursing louder than under
my breath, there's a compulsion
to lie safe, soft, far
from this rickets ridden system.
Sunlight is a taunting memory.

It Has Been a Strange Day

2009-02-23T14:22:00.000-08:00

Because even though I work in a crowded center I have felt lonely today. Lonliness is a strange feeling and maybe that is not the right word..isolated?..nah that doesn't fit either..hmmm guess when things get a little too much for me I retire into myself somewhat..guess it gives me time to sort out my befuddled head..so today I didn't share the dinner time with my mates but decided to stay in my own unit..which was a bad move as I carried on with paper work..Oh well, never mind!

Oh Hell

Paradise
has closed,
gone bust.
She suffers
a Sunday neurosis.
No instinct,
bored.

Red painted nails.

All those minutes
answer for a life.
Where were you
that you couldn't see?
Once,
when there was a 'why'
bearable was almost
any 'how'.

Now
She's tangled
inside.
Lost movement
in this world,
can't find
what really 'is'.

Her meaning
never ceases,
She just
doesn't look
for answers
anymore

Well It's Friday Again...

2009-02-20T14:08:00.000-08:00

How the days do fly by! Today was so beautiful with the sun warming me as I sat outside on my fag break!...soon it will be spring and I shall write of love and all things new :)

Busy, busy week hek they don't get easier but never mind it pays the bills and so forth and so on....I have been told I have to dress up for red nose day (yet again) the center where I work usually raises quite a tidy sum for the cause and lets face it always good to do something for someone else isn't it?...I like to think so..It was my mums birthday on the 17th of Febuary she has been dead for quite a number of years..the thing is that I didn't remember until the day after..how bad is that?..it's very bad and I felt so ashamed as we had a great relationship and I still miss her like mad..anyways I felt so lousy but have come to terms with forgetting.. :(

I Shall Bring You Flowers

If all the feelings that I ever had
where stored in this room
your spirit would fill it
and could alter the world.

I should let you go,
abandon you to the past tense.
Yet how can I?
You are always there
and here.
Your ashes around a rose.

I wonder will others understand
how you breathe in me. You
are no more the past than myself,
I shall carry you onwards
into the future.

I need no time to mourn yet
sometimes I believe your death
was a cruel lie, a mistake.
I wait for your return.

And on the day of your new birthday,
the day that you died.
I bring flowers into the house
to make you smile.

It's Monday!!

2009-02-09T09:24:00.000-08:00

Mmm been a while since I came here. I have not been too well and to be honest couldn't be arsed either!..but am here now and that is all that matters...well what a frantic day! Somedays can be so busy.

I am longing for the spring-time thats it!! I have had enough of the dank, dark days we are having, so miserable outside today, with a watery sun soon scuttering back behind some warming clouds..but it peeped though, and that is a good sign.

I live near to the coast in the same place I was brought up in from the age of six or seven..when small I remember walking down by the shore, and the towpath was one of my favourite haunts. The farmers fields border onto the towpath and it was full of magic for a young girl. So many great memories of that special place. One day I may share them.

The Towpath

By the towpath
where the reeds grow tall
the scent of cut grass
lies amongst warm folds.

So soft a lullaby
as the breeze plays,
slips over her skin.
Late afternoon sun
kisses her face.

I can see her lost in her smile.

Within a young girls daydream
sheltering reeds dance purple-blue.
Birdsong and bees
play a seranade to music.

This memory still clear,
clear in my mind.
By the towpath
where the reeds grow tall.

Is my voice so awful?

2009-01-29T14:13:00.000-08:00

that it would break my loved lap top?...ok I may not have dulcet tones but surely they are not so strong as to reek havoc on me poor pc..but seems so..I was in the middle of an audio recording of a very small poem when whoosh..pc went potty..

I would prefer to put this problem down to a trogan horse or whatever nasty virus is going round these days..but I was protected (as the actress said to the vicar.) So there I am with nothing..lost all of my stuff and no, I did not back up my files so all docs are now floating somewhere in the stratosphere, the up side?..I now sport a fancy new sony vaio lovely thing although it is a ton wieight.

Don't you just love/hate these things?

Silent times (or forever the optimist):)

This silent time I consider a gift,
moments free from outside influence
where the day is clean, fresh
and opportunities endless.
In this space to refuse
possibilities, seek potential,
is as waiting for death to be delivered
with the morning post.

Well It's Wednesday

2009-01-21T12:52:00.000-08:00

Wednesday is a strange day. It was the one day of the week that I had difficulty spelling when I was a young un..and to this day I use Wednesday as a divide of my week..some things stick throughout your life don't they?

It's been so cold today that if I owned bollox they would have frozen off..and I am fed up with having to go outside for my fix of nicotine. The longer the ban goes on the more I am resolute to take my breaks..which is daft coz as I said tis freezing!! So there I am shivering and wondering why on earth I put myself through this..The addiction is strong. I have no care that I am being anti-social, I have to be politically correct at work so I am damned if I am gonna be social too. :o) They have supplied me and others with my habit with a very dapper looking stainless steel bucket for dog-ends..how quaint.

Anyway less of my thoughts..this is one I wrote when cold!!

A Break of Anti-Social Behaviour

Instant relief blends winters scent,
sifting minutes lost to uncertain views,
within a bubble of quietness I hide,
tuned to red alerts that fade
not meant for me
as the lighter clicks.

White heather skates on fallow turf,
gentle smoke cuts fresh air in two,
curls itslef in wild flowers sound.
Petals cough unheard, I am content,
I stand accused.

Social Workers have a definate step,
an urgent fire alarm, walk this way.
One eye closed I sit and feel,
fading back within a lighter warmth,
lick the smoke in my mouth.

Little wren hunts surrounded by weeds,
a forgetful woodlouse dies in a tweet.
Final ash powders resistance and toenails
as respite minutes fall crushed to rest,
where my tin bucket token
calls time.

One little thing I have noticed

2009-01-17T09:41:00.001-08:00

Is that on my profile the chinese astro sign for November is the boar...I am still laughing here. How very kind of Blogger to name me as a boar (bore) and not a pig! I do wish (only sometimes) I had not been born in the year of the pig, let's face it not exactly complementary is it? Although I am pleased not to be born in the year of the cock or the rat, for obvious reasons. :)

Saturdays I adore almost as much as Friday nights.. With Fridays you have the whole weekend to look forward to.. Saturdays because you still have Sundays.. Mind you I spent most of today at the hairdressers, the price I pay due to copious ammounts of grey hair (ok, ok) mostly grey, but not anymore.. HAH! But the cost of hairdressers is, well it's outrageous!! total rip off.. though I am too much of a coward to buy one o' those do it yerself boxes of colour from the shops.. a fear I picked up from my Dad many many years ago when he dyed my mums hair a delighful shade of green (though some green wouldn't be too bad)

I was tempted to have a hair cut and that in India..until I visited the hairdressers there.. The loo was the seat and they were merrily boiling up a kettle for one poor soul.. the hot water to wash her hair one kettle one plug.. don't think they even offered her a coffee which is, in my world, essential when having a bad moment. She had booked before checking out the place.. turned out a very interesting cut too... not what I would call the best one I had seen but hey.. she was there for seven weeks (India not the hairdressers) and bought a nifty array of bandanas, so all ended well...

Looking back at the drivel I have just written I am now thinking mmmm maybe being born in the year of the boar was quite, quite appropriate..

A Gesture of Intent (possibly my only hair poem)

A gesture of intent
the swing of her hair.
With beautiful speed
she breaks the code
behind his shield,
left there years ago
as a problem solving
program.

Now she purrs, rolls easily,
brims with persuasion.
Connects briefly with barely
half of a human being,
who in disarray, realises
too late,
that her poison
is terminal.

Thank Crunchy it's Friday :)

2009-01-16T17:10:00.000-08:00

Not going to bitch about work (ok yes I am) but I am damn glad it's Friday..what a week, skeleton staff, lots of illness at the moment, guess like many places. Jeez I need a holiday! Which is rather selfish for I am not long back from India..seems a lifetime away.

So onwards and upwards and let's see what the day brings....:)

Watching Kumar Work

He works with ease as sunshine drips
from the edge of my parasol, flushes
over bare skin. Fingers slick with oil,
smelling of spices mould soft dough.
Hands tease the smallest blemish,
muslin braves the heat
and although I am no model
of excellence or perfection,
I'm intoxicated,
making love to the warm Arabian wind.

A Personal View

2009-01-14T16:08:00.000-08:00

A moment might be
a thousand different things.
I wanted to be right there.
When I wasn't
I always knew
where to find me.

In still photos
stood at the edge,
so close
that if I reached out
I could touch the world.

The warm wind slicing
through my hair,
rocks, waves, clouds
and none the same.

Gone as a hush meets
a ryhthmic rumble.

Liverpool

2009-01-14T15:33:00.000-08:00

Well this was the first poem I put up on here....now the thing is i have a very bad habit of pushing buttons without really knowing what they do...so the bugger has ended up here..at the top!!...lolll typically me..

So read and enjoy or dis
whichever takes your fancy :)

Capital of Culture

Limestreet belches Friday feelings
the overspill of liquid dreams
drift , ever hopeful for a pull
to where the music plays.

Stilettos click across the old tiled floor,
echoes fade from memory, for some
this station, their final destination
sit below no smoking signs.

Romero day dawns dull grey
as cities swap inter-city bores .
Hapless dreams fall to open mouths,
perhaps tonight's the night?

Almost awake stoned culture warms,
invades, spits out what's left.
It matters not gallant knights
sport Budwiser breath,

or taxis, like auto rickshaws
have meters invariably out of date.
Here distances are small between
bars, buskers, holes in the wall

for all was capital 2008.

Liverpool (Liver Buildings)